The New Day Progressive Liberal Party — always ready for a photo-op, a podium, and a punch line. After signing what they gleefully declare as a “historic” Heads of Agreement, they waste no time turning to the Bahamian people with their trademark smugness: “See? The FNM doesn’t care about you — because if they did, they would have done this too!”

Yes, bravo. Let’s all slow clap.

Because here’s the part they leave out: this “monumental” deal they are now waving like a victory flag is built on the ashes of the very same Heads of Agreement the PLP themselves cancelled when the Minnis administration signed it. You remember that, right? Of course they hope you don’t. But this isn’t progress — it’s political recycling. Or as Public Enemy put it best: “Don’t believe the hype — it’s a sequel.”

And now, the Prime Minister, full of pep and paranoia, is rallying his party to get “battle ready.” He sounds like a general prepping his troops — minus the actual courage to face real scrutiny. We have now heard this battle cry multiple times, each one louder than the last. One might almost think he is more worried about “friendly fire” from within than any real threat from across the aisle.

Yes, Prime Minister Davis wants unity — not because the party is united, but because he is clearly concerned it’s falling apart. All this talk of “gossip” and “backbiting”? That’s not a leader brimming with confidence. That’s a man plugging leaks in his own boat, hoping the crew doesn’t mutiny before Election Day.

But let’s get to the real comedic gold: Davis standing at the mic, pretending to be above it all, only to swing low and petty, asking “What real job has Michael Pintard ever had?”

Secret Squirrel, Really? That’s your best line? Because if we’re tossing resumes around, maybe we should ask: what exactly have you built? What have you managed — apart from PR disasters and fuel scandals? And while we’re at it, shall we list the controversies you’ve presided over like some national hobby?

And then there’s Fred Mitchell — always lurking, always laying the groundwork for the next fiction that will be fed to Grand Bahama and the rest of the country. Yes, rally the troops! Not for truth, not for vision — but for the next well-crafted mistruth. Because apparently, the strategy is simple: accuse your opponent of doing exactly what you just did, and hope no one notices.

Let’s be real. The PLP is not positioning itself as the savior — it’s cleaning up the very mess it made, repackaging it as salvation. Just look at Bahamas Power and Light: another crisis born under their watch, now being spun as “we’re fixing it.” How generous of them — to solve problems of their own creation.

And as for the latest whisper campaign? That Pintard is some puppet for “special interests of a lighter hue”? That’s not just offensive — it’s lazy. It’s the oldest play in the book, dusted off and dressed up for a desperate rally.

So yes, the Prime Minister wants his party “battle ready.” But based on the recycled deals, petty insults, and internal cracks showing through, one might ask: what battle? Because from here, it looks like the only fight Brave Davis is truly committed to… is holding his own party together.

END