Good day and welcome to another glorious sunrise on the “New Day” horizon, brought to you by the Progressive Liberal Party (PLP) and their ever-vigilant leader, the Rt. Hon. Philip “Brave” Davis — whose bravery seems to have finally awoken from a four-year hibernation, just in time to heroically confront… paperwork.

In what can only be described as the most rousing speech ever given at a political rally-turned-HR performance review, Brave Davis issued a thunderous warning to civil servants: move them dusty files — or else. That’s right. After nearly four years of watching his government move slower than molasses in a Nassau summer, the Prime Minister has discovered that civil servants — not the Cabinet, not the MPs, not PLP policies — are apparently the main culprits behind stalled progress.

The Nassau Guardian reported the drama in bold: “PM warns civil servants”.

“This ain’t the time for files to be sitting on desks gathering dust.”

We agree, Prime Minister. But it also ain’t the time to pretend this just started. Civil servants didn’t suddenly develop a dust fetish in June 2025. Many have been operating in a system designed by — you guessed it — political parties, including yours, over decades.

So when exactly did Brave notice the dust storms? Somewhere between the free lunch and the opening act at Charles Carter Park?

Let’s be clear: no one’s arguing against accountability. But when the PM boasts to party supporters about demanding resignation letters and sending people home, he conveniently forgets that many of these same ministries were paralyzed for years under his administration, all while promotions and pay hikes were handed out like campaign T-shirts.

Take this gem:

“I told one fella straight: if you miss that deadline, I want your resignation letter on my desk.”

Stirring stuff. Of course, we’re still waiting for the resignation letters from ministers who missed entire policy goals, but sure — bully the rank-and-file.

If this “warning” was meant to rally the nation, it’s hard to see how. More likely, it’s either:

1. A vague threat to make headlines — TikTok-ready with a dash of “stern leader energy,” or
2. A subtle message to purge the service of those deemed not “PLP enough” — something whispered in party corners for years.

Here’s the kicker: four years into your term is a strange time to notice bureaucratic slowdowns — unless you’re finally reading your own weekly Cabinet reports. Perhaps someone finally lifted the file off your desk?

Now, if this speech had come in 2021, maybe it would have sounded like genuine reform. But in 2025? It’s the political equivalent of showing up to a fire after the house has burned down to announce: “We are launching a task force on buckets.”

And in classic PLP fashion, the speech managed to avoid any mention of actual systemic reform: digitization, transparency, HR restructuring, or proper performance metrics. You know, actual governance. But then again, “Brave say log into the database” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it at a rally.

So here we are: election season brewing like a summer storm, and suddenly, the civil service is public enemy Number One. Not inflation. Not crime. Not load shedding. Not the shell games with government contracts. Nope — it’s the lady at the counter in the Ministry of Works who’s holding up the country. How convenient.

To quote the Prime Minister:

“We are not here to collect titles; we are here to serve.”

Indeed. Perhaps someone could inform the Cabinet. Or maybe the Prime Minister’s own Office, where FOIA requests go to die and audit reports gather… you guessed it — dust.

In the end, this speech wasn’t leadership — it was stagecraft. And not very good stagecraft, at that.

The truth is this: the PLP isn’t failing because of clerks with tired keyboards. The PLP is failing because it governs like a party perpetually in campaign mode, and blames everyone else — civil servants, the Opposition, and now even the filing cabinet — when the promises turn to vapor.

But hey, the next rally’s only a week away. Maybe this time, Brave will warn the staplers.

END